walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
