Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
