He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
