Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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