He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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