i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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