he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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