Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
