Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
