i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize