Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
