You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
