new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
