You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We're too hungover to prance.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
