I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
