I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
