i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
