I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Randomize