You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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