hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
