plz talk dirty to me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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