maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
