Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
