I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
