when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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