I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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