Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
