I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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