i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
