508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
