Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize