OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
