What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
