dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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