omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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