Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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