this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
