my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
