I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
