her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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