If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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