Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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