Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
