Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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