Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize