Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
