your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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