he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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