Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
