ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
even my farts smell like vagina
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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