Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
