can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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