Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
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can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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