Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
