I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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