O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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